


Vi Et Animo

by figbash



Series: Nagron [25]
Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Arguing, Goat Farm, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon, Sweet, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 16:42:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3216143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/figbash/pseuds/figbash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"With Heart and Soul"</p><p>Homesteading East of the Rhine is not without its struggles, both large and small.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vi Et Animo

Atop a great hill sits a wooden hut, small and unassuming. It has been built quite recently, and it appears to be simple but sturdy. At the rear of the structure is an enclosure that houses six young goats. The animals are noisy as they voice their displeasure at being confined to their shelter, but the fence for their pen will reach completion shortly.

Nasir hauls the last two beams into place, leaning his weight onto them so that they are fitted tightly. The goats become even noisier as he walks over to them, almost as though they know his purpose. Nasir opens the gate and they all come barreling out, eager to explore the new space. He smiles fondly as he watches them.

From inside the hut comes the sound of some unknown object crashing upon the ground. Nasir climbs quickly over the fence, hurrying around to the front to make sure it is not Agron himself who has fallen. He almost collides with him as Agron bursts forth, wild-eyed and agitated, striding away from the hut and heading down the hill.

“Where do you go??” asks Nasir in bewilderment.

Agron does not turn to look at Nasir, nor does he slow the brisk pace of his walk. _“Out.”_

Nasir takes a few steps after him, opening his mouth to question the cause of his distress, but out of the corner of his eye he sees one of the goats wriggle free from its newly-constructed pen. He glances once more in Agron's direction before turning to the escapee, grazing nonchalantly where it has roamed on the opposite side of the hill.

Nasir stops to inspect the border of the pen, watching the rest of the little flock crowd around the spot where the escape has been made. They bleat excitedly, pushing at each other as they attempt to follow suit. Nasir sees with relief that the other goats are bulkier than the first, and the fence will likely hold them for the time being. He adds another item in his head to the ever-lengthening list of tasks to be accomplished. Over his shoulder he sees Agron's form receding into the landscape, disappearing quickly from sight. It is difficult to turn from the image, but at last Nasir does. He pets the head of each of the remaining goats to pacify himself before taking slow and deliberate steps down the hill.

The lone goat continues grazing as Nasir comes within a few yards of it, but Nasir sees an eye and ear angled in his direction, monitoring his movements closely. With Nasir's next step, the goat raises its head, staring at him with curiosity.

“Come,” entreats Nasir, gesturing back up the hill.

Instead the goat strays further, bending to graze a new patch of grass. Nasir takes a few more steps towards it, then squats down.

“Come back home, little one,” Nasir asks the creature in a gentle voice, inching closer.

It is too much. The goat bleats with alarm, scurrying away, placing itself at a larger distance. Nasir stands, closing his eyes and taking a moment to let his frustration dissipate before he makes another attempt. He considers simply leaving the animal to return at will, but he doubts the poor creature would survive the night. Agron crosses his mind again, and Nasir wonders how much time he should allow to pass before his worry is justified.

Nasir steps as softly as he can, making slow steady progress. The goat's ear turns again to listen as Nasir approaches, allowing him closer, but then it seems as though an invisible boundary is violated, for the goat springs into motion the moment Nasir takes another step. The pattern repeats itself several more times, with identical results.

 _“Fuck,”_ hisses Nasir, feeling his temper rise. He realizes belatedly that they are nearing the edge of the woods, straying further and further away from the little hut on the hill. In the distance, the other goats seem to be observing the proceedings with great interest from their pen, sticking their heads between the wooden beams. 

Nasir turns his attention back to the defector. At a loss, he sits down with his face in his hands. “You wish us to lose our way in the forest? What is it that you seek there?” The goat looks back at him, its ears twitching, then promptly bolts through the trees. Nasir sighs, rising to his feet and laying reluctant pursuit. 

For a time, Nasir loses sight of the goat entirely, but then he finds it happily feasting upon moss by the side of a small stream. Nasir puts on an air of calm, drawing closer and closer, until at last he bends to stroke the animal's back.

“You are a wily one,” Nasir says, laughing softly to himself. “I must ensure you do not incite the others to such dangerous proclivities.”

The goat chews heartily, its tail flicking back and forth, with not a care in the world. Nasir allows it to eat its fill as he contemplates his next move. He is unsure whether he can successfully return without further incident. Nasir takes a few steps away, and the goat raises its head to watch him.

“Come,” Nasir tries, hopeful. The goat watches him attentively, but does not move.

Nasir turns to walk away. He speaks more firmly. _“Let us go.”_

With a grin, Nasir hears hooves trotting after him obediently. He tests his newfound power, turning and walking in the opposite direction, and the hooves follow him that way as well.

“Now that I have your friendship, I suppose it is rude to call you 'little one' is it not?” Nasir says, throwing a pleased smile to the goat. “...I can empathize with such sentiment.”

He leads the goat along the stream, basking in the satisfaction of his newly learnt skill, greatly enjoying the peaceful walk through the lush wooded land. Nasir decides he will try leading the entire flock across the fields beyond their home. With luck, the herd will grow its numbers before long, and they will need to seek advice in matters of kidding. That will entail a trip to visit friends in the village, miles to the west. He will have to remember to mention it to Agron. Nasir glances at the position of the sun in the sky, noting how late in the day it has become, wondering whether Agron will be waiting for him upon their return. Nasir wonders too at what mood he will find him in. Then he stops in his tracks.

“I believe...” begins Nasir, looking down at the goat, then at their surroundings.”...that perhaps we have gotten turned around.”

Nasir starts off in the opposite direction, retracing his steps back along the stream. He glances up at the sun again, feeling an edge of worry as he quickens pace. Nasir is thankful that the little goat is willing to keep up, but his concern begins to grow into alarm when the goat stops suddenly, distracted by a noise that Nasir himself is unable to discern. The goat begins to back away, and Nasir curses himself, feeling foolish for venturing so far from safety unarmed. Before long he sees that it is Agron who approaches, looking as though his mood has not much improved. Agron's countenance is stormy enough that the goat skitters away in a panic once Agron nears them. Nasir hangs his head, sensing his hard work coming undone in a moment's time.

 _“Are you fucking mad??”_ explodes Agron, eyes wide.

“Apologies, I-”

“Do you realize how far you have gone? Do you know how late the hour has grown??” Agron looks him over quickly. “And not a weapon upon you???”

“...It wandered free from pen,” Nasir answers lamely, at a loss of what else to say.

His response only seems to add to the incredulous rage that clouds Agron's face. “I do not fucking care what the idiot beast has done, I will not have you take such foolish risk! How could you do such a thing??”

“We might have gone together, had you not disappeared without explanation,” Nasir shoots back, growing intolerant of Agron's continued anger.

“Am I to ask fucking permission? At least I do not venture as child, roaming oblivious without slightest defense against the many dangers of this land. You have lost fucking mind, Nasir!”

“It is _you_ who has lost mind if you think you can deliver such abuse without recompense,” counters Nasir, in a voice that is dangerously quiet. It stills Agron's words in an instant.

Nasir takes a calming breath. “It was indeed foolish to allow myself to wander so far without weapon. I shall not make such mistake again. You have my apologies.”

Agron nods wordlessly, still tense but not quite as much on edge.

“...And I am sorry to have worried you,” Nasir adds in a softer tone, touching Agron's arm. “It has been a very long time since I have been able to walk freely... and the beauty of this land easily seduces.”

“...We have explored a good portion of it together,” says Agron, as more of his tension leaves him.

“Yes, but it is quite a different thing to journey alone, with one's own thoughts. It is true freedom. The last time I had done so was upon Syrian soil, so long ago that I cannot recall the feeling.”

Agron looks at him with kinder eyes. “I do not seek to curtail your freedom... I only ask that you take proper caution.”

“So I shall. And might I ask that you do not storm away with only single grunt as to where you go and to what purpose?” asks Nasir with a smile, but it fades when he sees that Agron does not return it. “...Agron?”

Agron stares off into the distance with a somber expression. “...At times I am driven to madness. I would not have you suffer me.”

Nasir frowns at him. “What do you speak of?”

“I come from a strong people. I have always despised weakness... I cannot abide it within myself.”

“You have hunted, and defended, and together we have built the beginnings of our home,” asserts Nasir.

“It is not the same...” Agron says in a dispirited voice. “You know that as well as I.”

Nasir feels an ache for him, wondering how long Agron's melancholy has festered into larger wound. He realizes he has underestimated the corrosive power of it. “No good comes from entertaining tortured thoughts. You must learn to release them from mind.”

“...You ask the impossible.”

Nasir's frown deepens as he ponders the delicate ground upon which he treads. “Did you not make similar request of me, when you left to follow Crixus?”

“Must you again pull that shadow from memory?”

“I do not ask out of anger,” Nasir clarifies quickly, not wanting to steer down that path. “You should know I do not hold anger for anything that has happened between us. We have already known enough pain.”

Agron sighs heavily. “Leaving you... was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.”

Nasir nods. “Do you know the hardest thing I have ever had to do?”

“I imagine it was when you turned from promise of freedom to fight at the side of a weak and battered soldier, too stubborn for retreat.”

“Again you speak far too harshly of yourself...” scolds Nasir gently. “No, I made that decision in half moment's time. Though I yet held hope that you would favor escape, I crafted your shield knowing it might be upon your arm as you fell from this world. In my heart, my only desire was to be at your side, wherever the fates would bear us to.”

“Tell me, then.”

“The hardest thing I have ever had to do was suffer rebirth into a life that I did not seek or ask for. My home, my place in the world, my purpose and identity... All were taken from me when I was freed from bondage. My years as Nasir and my years as Tiberius were likely equal in number, you see... one half inextricable from the other. It was no simple thing to build myself again, after I was laid bare.” 

Nasir watches Agron's face, wondering if his words fall upon deaf ears. “I was most fortunate for your guidance and protection, but there are matters of the mind that one must change from within. So I opened myself to my new world, and held sword, and wielded spear, and grew from house slave to warrior. I have often reflected upon those early days, and how I might have perished as easily as so many others did.”

Agron looks down at him. “I would never have allowed such a thing.”

“Yes. Of the many things I discovered in my new world, most wondrous of all was your love.” Nasir reaches out, taking Agron's hands and brushing his fingers over the palms. He traces the ravaged flesh with deep affection. 

“You must understand that this is not weakness. It is strength and defiance. It is the spirit within you that is beautiful and kind despite all it has suffered.” Nasir looks up at Agron, studying his face for a long moment, clasping Agron's hands in his own. “...These are the hands that hold my heart.” 

Agron frowns slightly, taking in his words and appearing as though he would object, but Nasir continues. “You are the strongest man I have ever known, and I shall always find joy in the knowledge that you are mine.”

Agron swallows, looking away. A pained expression crosses his face, but then his eyes return to Nasir's. “I cannot promise these thoughts will not again trouble mind.”

“This I know.”

Agron nods. “...Let us return, then.” 

“Just a moment more,” Nasir says, looking up at Agron with a secret smile. He pulls the ribbon free from his hair, and Agron watches as Nasir threads fingers into his, winding the ribbon around their interlocked hands. Nasir begins a knot, then he smiles up at Agron again, tilting his head. Agron presses a finger to the ribbon ends and Nasir completes the knot, gazing at their work before he speaks again. 

“Until the gods see fit to part us, you belong to me, as I belong to you. And just as hands are bound in this moment, so too shall they seek reunion in the afterlife.” 

Agron pulls him in, bending to kiss his mouth, then his neck. He pushes Nasir backwards until he is against the tree behind them, kissing him again with greater force. Nasir feels Agron's free hand slip under the fabric of his coat, pressing the firm muscle at the small of his back. He sighs as Agron knees his legs apart, as he lets Agron's hand slide lower, pulling their bodies into closer contact. Nasir's eyes are almost shut when a sound beyond them startles them out of their reverie. Over Agron's shoulder, Nasir can see it is the little goat, its confidence regained, bleating impatiently at them from where it waits.

Nasir laughs, leaning his head back against the tree, exhaling a long breath. “...Yes my friend, I think it is time to return home.” With a grin he unwinds the ribbon that binds Agron's hand to his, and Agron holds his face, kissing him once more. The goat bleats again, insistent.

“...I think I have decided upon stew tonight,” Agron says, releasing Nasir and casting a warning look to their companion.

Nasir strokes teasing fingers across Agron's chest. “Lay hand upon him and see what else you shall not lay hand upon.”

“Hm.” Agron's voice remains dark, but the corner of his mouth betrays the barest upturn.

“He is willful and temperamental, but I do not fault him for his nature. Perhaps I will call him Aggy.”

“You would not dare.”

Nasir does not give an answer either way. 

“Let us go,” Nasir says, and he is inwardly delighted when both Agron and the goat obey him.

As the last rays of the sun fade from the sky, the three of them return to their little homestead on the hill.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this story can be translated as either "With Heart and Soul" or "By Strength and Courage". I think they both fit rather nicely.
> 
> I really like the simplicity of their moment in the woods. They're not quite exchanging wedding vows... it's more like a natural affirmation of their bond and their love. 
> 
> I imagine they'd both be kinda cute and sometimes clueless when it comes to homesteading, and they'd be like inexperienced new parents with their goats. It was probably a good idea that they started small so they could learn the ropes.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Also... ya need to stop cock-blockin' my boys, Aggy ;)


End file.
